May it be. And soon.

John Darling was probably not a lucky one in the sense that when he closed his eyes tight and the pool of pale colors he saw there took shape he probably did not see the Neverland. He did however surpass the good fortune of even the lucky ones - he really went. He walked the shores and slept in the little home underground. He played the mermaids' bubble game and there he became my idol. John introduced a new way of hitting bubbles that the mermaids adopted for themselves. "This is the one mark that John has left on the Neverland." Though I find him in no way and exceptional character (neither clever nor outstandingly brave nor endearingly pathetic), the Neverland remembers him. He was there and he left something of himself behind.

Dear friend, please do not misunderstand me. I know that I matter; I know that my life has meaning and purpose and no matter what I do with it, great or small, my soul and my existence is significant simply because I am. But.

But. I want to leave a mark on this land. I cannot go to the Neverland; Peter did not come for me nor will he. But I am here and I want this place, this world, this life to remember me. Someday I will not be here and I am mostly at peace with the inevitable "Ashes to ashes, dust to dust" concept. But even though John is no longer in the Neverland and it is safe to guess that none there remember his name, the mermaids almost certainly still bounce their bubbles on their heads when they play their game. In that same way, I have a driving need to leave something, some mark, some fingerprint, some remnant of myself, of what I did while I was here.

I need a cause. I need a task. I need something fill endless notebooks with and stay awake for days until I collapse working on. There are worlds of unturned rocks, undiscovered magic, unspoken epiphanies for me. Where they are, what they are... I just know they are. I have to find it; my mark. What ever it may be.